Meant to Be

1. ALWAYS VALENTINE
2. RED DRESS
3. SMALL TOWN, OKLAHOMA
4. MEANT TO BE
5. FOLK SONGS (THE RECESSION SONG)
6. ABOUT THE WAR
7. IF WE GO, YOU GO
8. WICKED
9. ROOTS
10. LITTLE BLUE FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES
11. CELESTIAL BLUE
12. DEAR J.

Lyrics are in order of track listing. Scroll down to see them all

ALWAYS VALENTINE

Autumn red and gold
Shyly holding hands against the cold
Study sessions up till three
English playwrights, philosophy, art history

Delicious, divine
Delighted that you’re mine
Through every season anytime
My always valentine
My always valentine

Winter no more waiting
Tis the season now for celebrating
One month anniversary of
Our first time ever, first words of love, true love

Delicious, divine
Delighted that you’re mine
Through every season anytime
My always valentine
My always valentine

Vows are made so often in the spring
Taste of wine, a dress, a golden ring
Summer skies bring autumn round again

Delicious, divine
Delighted so delighted oh
Delicious, divine
Delighted that you’re mine
Through every season anytime
My always valentine
My always valentine

 

 

RED DRESS

Mama’s got a red dress It’s hanging in her closet
Racy little red dress It’s just hanging in her closet
She’s had it more than ten years Never worn it since she bought it

Mama’s got sad eyes Used to make the boys stare
Dark, pretty sad eyes Used to make the boys just stare
She still looks out of sad eyes But no one seems to care

Once she had dreams she was young like us
Never could have guessed how it all ends up
Never see the future till it’s in your face
Three kids, no cash, tired old place

Mama had a diamond ring It didn’t come from Dad
Had to hock her diamond ring And it did not come from Dad
She never married that boy Bet she wishes that she had

Once she had dreams she was young like us
Never could have guessed how it all ends up
Never see the future till it’s in your face
Three kids, no cash, tired old place

Once she had dreams she was young like us
Never could have guessed how it all ends up
Never see the future till it’s in your face
Three kids grown now it’s time for a change

Mama’s got a suitcase She won it at a dance
Never been used case She never had the chance
She packed it with the red dress And we haven’t seen her since

 

 

SMALL TOWN, OKLAHOMA

If you’re counting it was more than half your life
In that Oklahoma town
And long before you were a mother or a wife I know those
Dusty hot streets got you down

And you never had a doubt
You’d buy a one-way ticket out

Still in faded photographs
there’s a homemade dress there’s a girl who laughs
How I wish I could have known you
Way back when your hair was long
you were folding clothes singing country songs
In a small town Oklahoma

And though you worked so hard to try to hide your roots
Dropped that accent lost your tan
You kept a preference for pick-up trucks and boots
And drinking beer straight from the can

Every now and then I’d see
The wild country child my mama used to be

Still in faded photographs
there’s a homemade dress there’s a girl who laughs
How I wish I could have known you
Way back when your hair was long
you were folding clothes singing country songs
In a small town Oklahoma

Flowers blooming in the spring
by a screened-in porch and an old tire swing
How I wish I could have known you
Way back when your twang was strong
you were pulling weeds singing country songs
In a small town Oklahoma
Just a small town Oklahoma

 

 

MEANT TO BE

When I think about you here’s what I think about
How you never walked in so you never walked out
And I think about you, playing such a cool part
What a burden to lay on your beautiful heart

And I think about me how I always hung around
And I like to shut up just before I shut down
And I think about things how they never worked out
And I always had hope and you always had doubt

But we had
Harmony Melody
Tragedy always haunting me

And we had
Harmony Melody
Wasn’t it always meant to be?

And I think about time not so long ago when
Nearly all of my clothes smelled like your skin
And I think about how I cared a little too much
You were a little too kind with a delicate touch

And I think about me how I’ll never be smart
And I’ll always hold on, and I’ll always fall hard
And I think about fear, and the time that we stood
At the top of a wire, and my balance was good

And we had
Harmony Melody
Tragedy always haunting me

And we had
Harmony Melody
Wasn’t it always meant to be?
Wasn’t it always meant to be?

Harmony Melody
Wasn’t it always meant to be?

And do you think about me?

 

 

FOLK SONGS (THE RECESSION SONG)

NPR ran a story yesterday
About another wall street lay-off of some hot-shot big executive
He picked up his guitar he hadn’t touched in 30 years
And wrote a song

And I thought hey now wouldn’t it be cool
If everyone who lost a job they thought was always going to be secure
Just picked up a guitar or tambourine or xylophone
And wrote a song

And we’d all be singing folk songs when the world comes crashing down
And we’d harmonize the chorus nice and loud
Yeah we’d all be singing folk songs, this is how our lives would sound
I love you, you love me, we love everyone

We’ll plant corn and tomatoes in our yards
And we could be like pioneers and farmers, find a cow and butterchurn
And in the purple twilight, we’d pick up our guitars
And write a song

And we’d all be singing folk songs when the world comes crashing down
And we’d harmonize the chorus nice and loud
Yeah we’d all be singing folk songs, this is how our lives would sound
I love you, you love me, we love everyone

Yeah we’d all be singing folk songs, this is how our lives would sound
I love you, you love me, we love everyone
I love you, you love me, we love everyone
I love you, you love trees, trees love everyone
I love you, you love dogs, dogs love everyone
Trees love everyone, dogs love everyone
We love everyone, we love everyone

 

 

ABOUT THE WAR

Had another bad dream again about the war
Had another bad dream man again about the war
I was kneeling by this soldier helpless as he dies
Then he turns his gaze upon me and he has my brother’s eyes
Just another bad dream I don’t know what they’re for

Then I take the S-bahn over to Pottsdammer Square
In my dream I take an S-bahn train, over to Pottsdammer Square
There were generals drinking red wine safe behind their walls
While the battle outside rages until every soldier falls
I see this from the S-bahn, it never looks fair

I watch Romans and ancient Babylonians
Fighting Germans, French and Brits
Till an Arab and a US Marine
Come and blow them all to bits

Then the fighting starts all over in my dream it never quits

I met a long-haired hippie he came from Galilee
I met this long-haired hippie man, said he came from Galilee
He was talking about forgiveness, harmony and love
And I told him I would try and he said “trying’s not enough…
it’s not enough”
He’s just a long-haired hippie, but he’s always in this dream

I had another bad dream, again about the war

 

 

IF WE GO, YOU GO

Hey God you know I’m not always a big fan
Of trusting in you or some kind of divine plan
Sometimes I think you’re not even around
You never make a sound
I’ve been listening here on the ground

Maybe I’d find you if I had a star ship
Left all my friends and set out on a long trip
Maybe you’re here hidden deep in my heart
And We’ve never been apart
But I don’t even know how to start

Asking why are you absent all of the time
Are you something I’ll never find
A name on the wind shades of divine
tell me why
Can’t you send down some kind of sign
There’s a whole wide world on the line
And just in case you didn’t know — if we go, you go

How bout that story of moving a mountain
Now there was a god I could almost believe in
Healing the sick, raising the dead
Or just a phantom in my head
Are we all so easily led?

Tell me why are you absent all of the time
Are you something I’ll never find
A name on the wind, shades of divine
tell me why
Can’t you send down some kind of sign
There’s a whole wide world on the line
And just in case you didn’t know
If we go you go
And there’ll be no one praising your name
Not a single soul to be saved
And tho it must be quite a blow — if we go you go

 

 

WICKED

I wish I could be better so that I could find a baby
Who would stay a little longer, do his best to save me
He would give me all his kisses, he would give me all his money
He would tell me that I’m pretty and all my jokes are funny

But I’m a little wicked so it’s never gonna happen
You take the life you’re given then you’re gone

I wish I could be better so that everyone would love me
They would say I’s made of sugar and a halo hangs above me
I would walk right through the city and the people’d stop to greet me
And the ones that didn’t know me, well they’d do their best to meet me

But I’m a little wicked so it’s never gonna happen
You take the life you’re given then you’re gone

I walk the world all weighted by a heavy heavy chain
I cannot stand the mis’ry lord I cannot stand the pain
I guess we’ve all got sunny sides to counteract the rain
But you show it, & you show it, and it’s gone before you know it

I wish I could be better so I would not have to suffer
I could work on being nicer, instead of being tougher
I would rearrange the planet, so that Earth feels more like heaven
Make the night sky shine like diamonds, make the sunrise at eleven

But I’m a little wicked so it’s never gonna happen
You take the life you’re given then you’re gone

 

 

ROOTS

Two old trees, without a blossom,
without a single shining leaf, gnarled and broken

But underneath, there’s magic working, souls are swirling
And spirits meet with no words spoken

And I have loved you darling, since all was fresh and green
Now we’ve grown enough to see

Here with our roots entwined
And our lives combined
We go a long way down
Here with our roots entwined
Dig it deep you’ll find
We go a long way down

Beauty fades by the hour, some pale flower
I was afraid, but now I’m ready

Cause joy remains, it’s overwhelming always spilling over
At the same time, strong and steady

How I loved you darling when all was red and gold
That was long ago I’m told

Here with our roots entwined
And our lives combined
We go a long way down
Here with our roots entwined
Dig it deep you’ll find
We go a long way down
Here with our roots entwined
Like our hearts and minds
We go a long way down

Two old trees without a blossom without a single leaf

 

 

LITTLE BLUE FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES

One of the best places in this whole world
Is a little piece of paradise in my backyard
Makes me happy and I’ll tell you why
Little blue flowers and butterflies (2x)

I don’t care for no fancy clothes
Don’t put no powder upon my nose
Everything I need to get me by
Is little blue flowers and butterflies (2x)

I feel myself go still imagining
How sweet the sound would be if the butterflies could sing
The mockingbirds would put on harmonies and all the bees can
Just hum the bassline

You wanna be happy well it ain’t hard
Just go walking through my backyard
Little barefoot struttin’ with open eyes
See the little blue flowers and butterflies (2x)

You’ll feel yourself go still imagining
How sweet the sound would be if the butterflies could sing
And you can almost hear them, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

One of the best places in this whole world
Is a little piece of paradise in my backyard
Makes me happy and I’ll tell you why
Little blue flowers and butterflies (4x)

 

 

CELESTIAL BLUE

Well you never looked back And you never thought twice
Took a hold of the moon and sailed off to follow a dream
Yeah it sounded so nice
You could swing with the stars as they glittered so

High above ground
But it’s so far to fall
Safety nets, parachutes they never entered your mind
To hold you at all
You just flew Celestial Blue

And I wanted to be that fearless and brave
Float around in the atmosphere free but I clung to the earth
And the comfort it gave
I could long for the sky but I can’t get so

High above ground
When it’s so far to fall
Safety nets, parachutes feeding the fear in my mind
I’ve needed them all
Unlike you Celestial Blue

But someday I will shed all this gravity just lift away
And I know you’ll be there, saving some space in the air

So high above ground
When it’s so far to fall
Safety nets parachutes tumbling away from my mind
I won’t need them at all
So high above ground
With no fear to fall
Just like you Celestial Blue

 

 

DEAR J.

Dear J.

It’s been a really long time. I hope you can forgive the intrusion into your life. I had to write when they told me about your motorcycle accident, and how you almost died. You almost died.

And I’ve thought of you often, every time we’re in Holland I think you might see a poster, come to a show. And that never did happen. Still I always assumed I would see you again, cause I find that I still have some things to say. Dear J.

I want to thank you cause you probably saved my life when I was 15 and I ran away to Mexico. And you helped me and you held me and we danced in the streets singing Chris DeBurgh, “Lady in Red.”

And I’m sorry that I lied. I was reckless and selfish — caught in my own needs. I just couldn’t see things from other points of view. And I’ve heard of a study in which scientists determined that the brain’s frontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until age 25. Maybe that explains it but it doesn’t excuse it and I know that. It doesn’t excuse it. I was reckless and selfish.

But I still think of Mexico, and the fairytale we shared. There was magic in the air. And where’d so many years all go? I just couldn’t tell you but I still do remember dancing like fools to “Lady in Red.”

And the last conversation I recall having was in 1995. I had just finished college. You said “Come back to Holland. Come back to Holland, because right now there’s a door open between us. Please come, even if you just come close it.” But I never came and then you stopped calling and I moved again and we lost touch. And I can’t recognize you in all these now photos — 32 facial fractures and reconstructive surgeries. And I can’t even imagine that. You almost died.

But I know how strong you are – a spirit capable of chasing down and tackling purse thieves in the middle of the Mexican night. And so I wasn’t totally surprised to see you with your new leg, standing on top of a mountain.

They say you’re married now, with your own little boy and I’m so glad to hear it. I always knew that you’d make a great father. And I’m married too. We live in Nashville, Tennessee. And we have a happy life. It’s a very happy life. And I don’t want to intrude, I know I’ve got no right. I just want to say thank you and once again sorry. I was so inconsiderate right to the end. And one more thing. There’s one more thing.

I, I really loved you then. I may not have shown it very well, but you were always in my heart. And though it was a lifetime ago – and I know what you mean about it feeling like somebody else’s life, I feel that way too. But I remember Mexico, jumping out hotel windows and sneaking across borders of Central American countries. And I will never do these things again. I will never do these things again. I will never live that way again. I will never be that free again. I will never love that way again. I will never breathe that deep again. I will never do these things again.

I find myself stalling the end of this letter, cause it feels like we’re talking and then when it’s over it’ll be like another goodbye. I regret one last time that I never came over, never saw you again. We never got true closure though I know we’ve both moved on.

I guess some doors eventually close on their own.

But you should know that if we never speak again, you are still a part of my life and I had this dream about you. We were holding each other and crying. I dreamed this right before your accident. And when I went back to my dream journal I found another dream that I had totally forgotten about. And in that other dream, I’d lost my own leg … in a motorcycle accident.