Well he’s a slimeball baby
He’s dirty and he’s mean
Slimeball baby sadistic and obscene
I met him in a phone booth he asked me for a dime
The man was such a slimeball I didn’t know it at the time
He spoke to me so smoothly he spoke to me so well
That this slimeball baby put me under his spell

And he’s done so many bad things yes he’s treated people wrong
I could list a million bad things I could write a million songs
I could call a million lawyers but here I digress
For I too have done bad things, I too must confess
You can lock me in a jail cell you can throw me in the joint
But with this slimball baby I reached my breaking point

It was one of those days he’d nearly beat the dog to death
He’d been lying to his mama he’d been smoking chrystal meth
I was hiding in the bathroom I was getting ready to run
When I suddenly remembered hey this slimeball’s got a gun
Now I’m not a vengefull person but I’m sure that you can see
I had to pull it on him before he pulled it on me

I knew just where he kept It in the kitchen in a drawer
So I crawled into the kitchen with my belly on the floor
And I’d never fired a pistol lord I’d never held a gun
But this was cold smooth steel, a colt 41
And I took it in my hands and I felt it give me strengtgh
I knew just what I had to do I did not have to think

He was sprawled across the couch with his feet up in a chair
He was watching Jerry Springer, he was drinking him a beer
But he dropped it when he saw me, his eyes were all agog
I said I’m leaving you baby and I’m taking the dog
Then I lifted up that pistol and I aimed it at that man
But then angels up in heaven they bestowed on me a plan

So I grabbed me up some ducttape and I grabbed me up some rope
I tied him to the chair and I picked up the remote
And I turned it to the channel that was all day shopping
And later in the evening they ran Spanish soap operas
I think he called me something thru the tape I couldn’t tell
I said sianara slimeball I’ll see you in hell

And he’s a slimeball baby ladies take care
Cause these slimeballs baby they’re out there everywhere
Don’t let them get to close, don’t let them feed you lines
Cause you might just pull the trigger and you’ll wind up doing time
If you think you’re with a slimeball let me offer you this plan
Find out where the gun is keep the duct tape close at hand